HW #47 - Peer Perspectives On Care of The Dead

          I interviewed three of my peers: A 17 year old male (J), a 16 year old male (B), and a 16 year old female (A). My results revealed various things about how people who share my age and city see death. My first interview was with B. He admitted to attending two funerals and knowing a close friend who died. His religious upbringing has influenced how he sees death and care of the dead, he believes. Thus, if he had a choice of what happens to him after his death, he would choose “something like the way heaven is commonly depicted. The most important thing to me that I really want though is to be able to hold on to my memories and who I am even after I had passed.” Additionally, his first reactions to the words “death” and “after death” were “Heaven, Hell, funeral, cremate, bury.” In terms of what happens to his body after death, he would like to be cremated. “If I were a body, I think I would rather be ‘cleansed’ in a way by fire (which is sometimes thought of as clean) then left to rot underground forever…I also feel like it is interesting to think that the soul is freed and rises up to the heavens with smoke from the burning body. I don’t necessarily think it is true, but it is kind of a nice thought.” He knows that most dead bodies are bathed and dressed in nice clothing, and their eyes are closed before burial or cremation.

            My interview with J went somewhat differently. His first reactions to the terms “death” or “after death” were not religious in the least: “Darkness, absence, a great void.” Coincidentally, his family is atheist and he does not believe in any kind of afterlife. When his family marks the death of someone, the procedure is “little more than a memorial service held.” He does not want anything to happen to his “soul” after he dies, because “you are no longer conscious, you are nothing.” He knows that bodies are usually cremated or buried, but he would like his body to be donated to science like his father’s was, as it “serves no use for me once my brain and heart aren’t working.”

            My third interviewee, A thought only of the color black when she heard the terms “death” and “after death.” She admitted to not having to “deal with a sudden or surprising death” because she has only experienced the loss of two family members who she did not know very well and who were very old and sick. Unlike the other two interviewees, she expressed that death is “tragic” because it “comes regardless of age or how ‘ready’ a person is, and unfortunately has robbed society of many beautiful people.” She was raised in a Catholic family and raised to believe that God exists, but she does not believe in God or an afterlife. “As much as it would be lovely to believe in some kind of afterlife, heaven or reincarnation, I just don’t…I think some people are able to believe in God and some people just can’t or don’t.” She has shied away from the indoctrinations of her parents and elders to form her own opinions, but she still does not like to think about what will happen after her death or what her carcass will undergo.

                The collective reactionary thoughts to the words “death” or “after death” were of darkness, absence, void, heaven, hell, funeral, cremation, burial, and black.  The people I interviewed shied away from directly stating emotions, but they mentioned very unpleasant concepts. Darkness often symbolizes emptiness, which is something every interviewee alluded to. Either they felt that death left a hole where the deceased person used to live, or they feel emotionally empty and numb when they think of death. Perhaps they have just been taught by the media and the people they now to see death as a negative thing rather than a natural part of life, and to associate it with darkness.

                All of my interviewees had experienced the loss of an acquaintance or family member to death, but none of them expressed closeness to those who had died and only one of them admitted to having been close to any of the deceased. I think that many teenagers in this society have not yet experienced their most painful moments in life, because they have not experienced many deaths of close friends and family. I wonder if there is something that youth can do to prepare for such an experience. I think that perhaps some people prepare for their own deaths and for pain via avoidance, interviewee A said: “I don’t know (what should happen to me after death) and I prefer not to think about it.” Perhaps she prepared for her death by avoiding thinking of it as a defense mechanism, because she admitted to greatly fearing death in the past and sometimes still doing so.

            I found it interesting that one’s beliefs about an afterlife or in religion connect directly to how their body to be treated after they die. A did not believe in an afterlife, and does not like to think about what people will do to her soul-less body. J expressed that you are no longer conscious after death, but the procedures his father’s body underwent inspired him to make use of what was left of him. B, who at least likes the idea of Heaven or an afterlife, has idealistic plans for cremating his body so his soul can rise up with the smoke. It seems that views surrounding religion or God are directly tied to how a carcass should be treated, (I think) because said views include ideas of the relationship between soul and body. Perhaps that is another reason why death and treatment of the dead is rather taboo in our society; there are so many different, sensitive, deeply engrained opinions and unpleasant emotions associated with it.