On the spectrum of emotions, I think that death is associated with the extreme of anger and sadness. I've rarely seen anyone talk about death light-heartedly, and when they did they were shushed or stigmatized. Most people don't enjoy dwelling on the concept of dying, and when they do they are often considered mentally distrought, suicidal or insane. Once my friend A was sad because her grandmother died. She told me and some friends around her that she had to go to the funeral soon. Amidst the condolences, my other friend B said "have fun at the funeral!" A was rather offended, and later on that day another who was part of the conversation asked Friend B to apologize. B Never did. I think this experience is an example of how we are taught by society to view death because although B meant well, he was not "right" in associating death with fun. Friend B thought that a funeral was a place to celebrate someone's life rather than to mourn its ending, but maybe this is a less dominant perspective.
The first funeral I remember being involved in is that of a family friend's. I declined the offer to attend because I thought it would be sad for me. My family did not have a problem with me not going, but in hindsight I wonder if it was cowardly of me to shy away from sadness. The next funeral I went to was for my tortoise, Abraham. He died unexpectedly and we put his body in a little cardboard box. We waited until it was dark enough not to be bothered by security or passersby and my dad dug a little hole in the dirt, next to the courtyard entrance to my building. Sometimes when I walk in my building through that entrance I think of Abraham buried there and of the pleasant time I had with him. This sounds morbid, but I never found it particularly strange. When in class we were asked how often we walk by a grave or memorial, most people said not very often. I realized that I do this daily, but this had never occured to me before. Maybe it never occured to me because I, like the rest of society, don't like to think about death. Or perhaps this is because the dead being is just a tortoise, and not a human with whom I had a deep relationship.
The first funeral I remember being involved in is that of a family friend's. I declined the offer to attend because I thought it would be sad for me. My family did not have a problem with me not going, but in hindsight I wonder if it was cowardly of me to shy away from sadness. The next funeral I went to was for my tortoise, Abraham. He died unexpectedly and we put his body in a little cardboard box. We waited until it was dark enough not to be bothered by security or passersby and my dad dug a little hole in the dirt, next to the courtyard entrance to my building. Sometimes when I walk in my building through that entrance I think of Abraham buried there and of the pleasant time I had with him. This sounds morbid, but I never found it particularly strange. When in class we were asked how often we walk by a grave or memorial, most people said not very often. I realized that I do this daily, but this had never occured to me before. Maybe it never occured to me because I, like the rest of society, don't like to think about death. Or perhaps this is because the dead being is just a tortoise, and not a human with whom I had a deep relationship.
The common practices surrounding care of the dead include burials, wakes, cremation, flowers, condolences and funerals. Bodies are disposed of via placement in a casket, which then is buried forever, or burning. Before cremation or burial, usually the diseased's friends and family can observe the body at a funeral home. This is called a wake. To make the body look less creepy or corpse-like, care-takers apply make-up and sew the lips together so that gravity doesn't pull the lips apart in a snarl. This indicates that people are unwilling to accept the tole nature takes on bodies. In an effort to deny death, people minimize its effects.
Wow I do remember that experience Casey, but I didn't think you would. It's okay you didn't have to put me as "B" you could have said my name. That was a good example to use and I hope after this unit maybe people will start to understand where I was coming from.
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