From Daniel (Mentor):
Casey-
Well done. I'm especially impressed that you found a family of 7 children here in NY :) I found it really interesting that subject A's peers would blame her for being "selfish" for staying home with her child. It is as if those people expected her to bare the burden of pregnancy AND the burden of providing financially for the family. I wonder if they simply relinquished the father of all responsibility or just assumed he'd fail. Either way, they seemed to assume a lot. I wonder what Subject B made of those comments (I'd like to have seen that elaborated on). Did he feel added pressure? Or was providing for his family the aspect in which he could be better than helpless?
In terms of Subject C, I find it interesting that the wife had reservations for having that many children. Did adoption ever come up as a viable path? The situation seemed perfect for it.
From Braxton (protege):
Casey,
Woah, I'm shocked at the experience of Subject A in the most sympathetic of ways. Her employers and co-workers accusing her of "being selfish to her husband and baby by cutting her family’s income in half and staying with the child instead of working," seems largely out of line! You'd think that a group of civilized adults would respect the opinion of a parent in relation to their own child...
I chuckled at Subject C's proposal experience. "C, will you marry me?" "Oh my god, i don't know what to say!...Of... of course I will!" "Great! I hope you like children as much as I do because I'm gunning for twelve of 'em!" "Oh... um... about that..." (Jokes, jokes; though it is a rather entertaining scene to imagine.)
From Natalie:
"Additionally, actions speak far louder than words. Saying “Good luck” or “I hope you have a healthy baby” or “you’ll do fine” obviously does not stick in one’s mind or help as much as throwing baby showers, building baby furniture, preparing meals, or just being there for emotional support."
I think this is a really interesting point that you bring up. When we meet someone who is pregnant we tend to say congratulations or wish them the best, but we do not perform any actions to create a more positive experience. While it is of course positive reinforcement, like you said, will they really remember? But maybe what we really need to be asking is: why do we feel obliged to say these things? We do not actually know that the person will do fine, and if it's not something they're going to remember, then perhaps we shouldn't say anything at all. I believe if we truly care, then an action is necessary. Just as you proved in your writing when a meal was prepared or furniture was built. Or possibly if we said these things less, when we actually said good luck to a pregnant woman, they would know we meant it.
From SarahL:
Casey: I really liked your post, and was struck by this line, “making families was just what people did. Family wasn’t really a question…the only question was timing”. This got me thinking about how our society maps out the normal way to live. It seems as though marriage and babies come hand in hand. It poses as sort of strange that if two people were to make a baby and didn't have the golden rings on their left hand then society as a whole would frown upon their decision... Why do the two have to go hand in hand? Why can't two people create something or move forward without a certificate?
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To Sarah:
Sarah,
Your post hit upon many interesting ideas I think could have benefitted from further elaboration. For example: "After hearing a very similar story to my first interviewee it made me wonder if subconsciously we set up the type of image we want to be seen as a pregnant person. If through our choices we connect the dots to make one sort of person. It then made me think about the stereotypical types of pregnant people floating around our society. The teenage mom, the Zen mom, the older mom, when and how we give birth seems to make more of a statement than the birth itself." Perhaps you could have touched upon this topic later, in connection to how your interviewees fit into these stereotypes.I liked your quote in the beginning, although (forgive my slowness) I didn't quite see its relevance to your interviews.
To Natalie:
Natalie,
I loved the structure of your post; it was very easy to follow and coherently organized. I was struck by the line, "As sacred as she tries to make birth for the woman, she said that after becoming a midwife, she 'realized how normal birth is.' Birth is a completely natural thing that society makes too much of a fuss over. 'If we leave women alone- and simply support the woman and her family, provide education and safety – things will turn out ok.'"
I wonder how this midwife explains (in light of this statement) the complications or lack of resources in the home that have led to injury or death of the baby/mother? All of your interviewees seemed like amazing people; perhaps the idea of a pregnant woman is favorable because what is going on in them is amazing.
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